The MOM Fog <3

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐝 recently and it feels so damn good. ⁣
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The transition to motherhood is slow. So slow that I didn’t really know what was happening at the time. I’d recognize things as they came, like the fear of my body not capable of being strong again after a C section or the lack of sleep that comes with these sweet little creatures. Or even how I’d call my best friend bawling in those first few months bc I just missed my husband and he was right next to me. We went from being each other’s everything to trying to be this little humans everything. We sacrificed everything we knew to create everything we wanted for our daughter. ⁣
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So I’d feel this way and find evidence to help justify those thoughts. I’d read articles about enjoying the moments and how they’ll go so fast and not to stress about . How a lot of my feelings were hormone related (also true) and how new transitions can bring new tensions and to trust the process. “𝐈𝐭’𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥.” ⁣
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So I just trucked along. I made the memories, I was/am present, and looking back, I still wouldn’t change a thing. I love being a mommy , and I feel so blessed that God gave us MJ. ⁣
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But then my husband deployed back to back and I became a “single” mom for a year. The responsibility of raising a human , alone, during such instrumental times of her development. I continued to slowly, without realizing, give up every part of ME. ⁣
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I stopped getting dressed. I stopped wearing make up and curling my hair. I denied almost any fun event with friends because I knew I needed rest for my baby and I created anxiety about FUN because, “what if I had a few drinks and didn’t hear her crying for me?” When I did get a moment of freedom I was consumed by wondering if I was selfish or if M was okay. ⁣
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My fun became my work. Heck, it’s so fun! Lol. And it was the only thing in my life that was still there, that hadn’t changed. My social life changed, my husband was gone, my self care outside of fitness was non existent. So I plugged into my business for my purpose and well being. It gave me accountability to show up for myself and that gave me the one little piece of me I felt like I still had left. ⁣
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But even so, 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐞? Next thing I knew I was referring to myself as Masons wife and Marra’s mom. I was a successful Beachbody coach in the coaching world. ⁣
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And then it happened. I woke up one day and my joy became dependent on Mason, Marra, and work. If one of those things was off, I was off. I no longer controlled my emotions but rather they determined my happiness. ⁣
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I created a new way a living. A new normal. A normal that I didn’t know WASN'T normal. I lost me. ⁣
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I needed to become 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞. How did I do it/ am I doing it?⁣
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𝘞𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵’𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘦. 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘶𝘴. ⁣
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1. Become whole in our body. Our bodies greatest enemy is lack of sleep and lack of nutrition. Taking care of myself ensures less fatigue, irritability, and more confidence. Stay fit. For yourself and for fulfilling your God given purpose. ⁣
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2. Become whole in your soul. Have you actually listened to the inner dialogue lately ? Paul writes, “fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right. Think about things that are pure and admirable and honest.” Eliminate blame, criticism, and analyzing. Say how you feel, be direct, don’t mind read. ⁣
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3. Become whole in your spirit. FORGIVE. Unforgiveness is just as much a sin as the sin itself. One of the darkest and most forbidden rooms in any heart is that of unforgiveness. Repent, forgive yourself, forgive others. ⁣
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Take back your life, mommas. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Do your best everyday to shake the fog of selflessness and the stories you tell yourself about who you are and who you need to be. Social media can kill us and our relationships. Sets boundaries. Quit comparing. 

Remember that you’re in charge of your emotions. Feel them, it’s fine. But remember they don’t consume you. You can choose sadness, guilt, anger just as much as joy and wholeness. You are A BADASS.